On team cancers

Shorter Scott Moe:

Of course I'm on Team Canada! I just don't intend to contribute to it, and instead plan to interfere with its every move, and want to make clear to its opponent that I'm on their side!

Can anybody check how many of Moe's reputed wicked slap shots were directed at his team's own net?

On jurisdictional issues

Shorter Jason Kenney:

For all my Ottawa-bashing bluster, even I have to admit it's asinine to pretend provincial laws can nullify the existence of federal powers. 

Shorter Scott Moe:

The federal government has no jurisdiction to enforce its laws in the Glorious Republic of Lesser Fucktrudeauistan! It's in the Magna Carta!

Meanwhile, as some point out the danger of implicitly encouraging a violent response by individuals, let's note that Moe has also gone far past the UCP in centralizing provincial policing structures as a substantive step toward concentrating force under provincial jurisdiction. (And sadly, the response in Saskatchewan was mostly limited to quibbling over security at the Legislature rather than the broader implications.)

On unhealthy bias

Shorter Murray Mandryk:

It's important that we have compassion for everybody's mental health concerns regardless of politics. And by that, I of course mean allowing partisan operatives from only one side to play the victim while lying through their teeth about supporters' violent threats against their perceived opponents.

Here we are now, going to the bothsides

Shorter Murray Mandryk:

Who can really say whether we should want to have more or less spread of a deadly disease? What we should focus on is compromising on a moderately disastrous pandemic that we can all be somewhat dissatisfied with. 

Update: And it gets better. Having declared the previous day that it's unfairly divisive to suggest we should do what's necessary to eradicate COVID-19, Mandryk's next missive tells us that it's not fair to hold Scott Moe accountable for failures in vaccine distribution due to...the presence of the virus he's refusing to rein in.

On root causes

Shorter Scott Moe on threats against Dr. Saqib Shahab:

I have no idea how these idiots got the idea that policy disagreement entitles you to engage in violent rhetoric and personal harassment. 

Shorter Scott Moe's CO2Anon donor base:

Environmentalists are child molesters! But the good news is that I think I've figured out the coded meaning of their pizza orders!

No time like the present

 Shorter Scott Moe (with an uninformed boost from Murray Mandryk):

An election is no time to assess the suitability of candidates for public office.

Needless to say, we've heard a similar proclamation when it came to policy. And we can only hope Moe's view of keeping political matters away from voters is met with the same electoral response.

Visionless

Shorter Trudeau Liberals last month, trying to justify shutting down Parliament and setting up a game of Parliamentary chicken over a throne speech:

It's absolutely vital that we talk about VISION! And LONG-TERM PLANNING! And a FRESH MANDATE FOR CHANGE!!!

Shorter Trudeau Liberals now:

On second thought, this is no time for vision and planning.

Missing in action

Shorter Sask Party when it comes to using steel as an excuse for pipeline approvals:

It's vital that we uncritically cheerlead for EVERY SINGLE PIPELINE PROPOSAL for the sake of Saskatchewan steel jobs!

Short Sask Party when it comes to ensuring Saskatchewan steel is actually used for pipeline construction when another producer from offshore is undercutting our workers:

(crickets)

On selective normalcy

Shorter Government of Saskatchewan:

It's absolutely crucial for children's development and mental health that their back-to-school experience be as normal as possible. Especially when it comes to being in classrooms as large and packed as they're accustomed to.

Also shorter Government of Saskatchewan:

So the kids won't be able to see Grandma and Grandpa until next July. They'll just have to suck it up.

On double insecurity

Shorter Bill Morneau on what his government expects of workers generally:

Nobody has a right to expect secure, long-term employment.

Shorter Bill Morneau on benefits for workers affected by COVID-19, as his government eliminates direct income support while maintaining only a wage subsidy:

Nobody has a right to support in the midst of a pandemic unless they have secure, long-term employment.

On crossed lines

Shorter Scott Moe:

Would-be bombers shouldn't be threatening locked-out workers. That's my job.

On crisis acting

Shorter Brad Wall, Distinguished Statesman:

Never mind the facts about my trumped-up grievances, I demand that we break up the country in order to burn down the world!

On double standards

Shorter Murray Mandryk:

I'd never be so unreasonable as to suggest Saskatchewan Party cabinet ministers could be expected to listen to protests against their own government. But for Ryan Meili, I won't be satisfied by anything short of showing up to rally in support of his political opponents - not to mention climate change denial.

Your money, his friends

So much for any talk of economic diversification, shared sacrifice or responsible budgeting - the Saskatchewan Party is on another corporate giveaway binge, and no amount of public money is off the table if it'll buy a photo op with a CEO.

Shorter Brad Wall today:

PLZ MR. OIL BARONS TAKE ALL OF OUR MONEYZ!!!!

Meanwhile, Trevor Tombe notes that Saskatchewan already hands more free money to corporations than any other province in Canada:

SK Premier Wall to subsidies HQ relocation https://t.co/1WrpEAgoHC Their subsidies to private firms already highest in Canada #skpoli #ableg pic.twitter.com/PXiw8HIWLm

— Trevor Tombe (@trevortombe) March 29, 2017

Which, for a government interested in rational policy-making, might serve as a hint that giveaways to businesses aren't a means to avoid the type of pain now being applied to everybody but Wall's would-be targets.

On available alternatives

Shorter Murray Mandryk:

A poll which shows the NDP picking up support from dissatisfied Saskatchewan Party voters proves my point that the NDP can't possibly pick up support from dissatisfied Saskatchewan Party voters.

Juxtaposition

Shorter Tim Naumetz on the NDP's consistent stance opposing Bill C-51, a position supported by 17% of respondents in a recent poll (with plenty more undecided):

Boy, it's weird that a political party would take stand on a policy issue despite the public being less than fully on board at the moment.

Shorter Tim Naumetz on the Cons' position refusing to countenance any criticism of or change to Bill C-51, a view supported by 19% of the public in the exact same poll:

[crickets]

Faith no more

Shorter Catherine McKenna on the Libs' response to the National Energy Board misleading the public about its insider dealings with lobbyists on Energy East:

Clap sunnier! Clap sunnier!

Polluted by crimes, but torn by no remorse

Shorter Brad Wall on what's truly important as an oil spill pollutes drinking water along the North Saskatchewan River:

I only hope this monster running amok doesn't make it harder to sell new reanimation technologies.

Or in graphic form...

On creative reinterpretation

Shorter Bill Morneau:

Pay no attention to trifles such as a "platform". In fact, our only election promise was to draw up budget plans on the back of a napkin if given the opportunity. And promise kept!

Juxtaposition

Verbatim Brad Wall then:

(W)e may -- possibly -- campaign on [privatizing liquor stores] in the next election, but people will be able to decide then. In other words, we would never change the act without a mandate to do so.

Shorter Saskatchewan Party response now to every invitation to make the case for any mandate during an actual election campaign:

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